


Being A Kid, Growing Up, & Other Hard Things that No One Understands

by testyCatfish



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Gen, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-12-16 19:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21041255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/testyCatfish/pseuds/testyCatfish
Summary: Vriska Serket is a kingpin in the underground network of social relations at her high school. She knows allllllll the secrets (all of them.)You want dirt on somebody? Vriska's got you covered.She's got the inner mechanisms of her high school figured out. Now she just needs to figure out everything else.





	1. School Night.

Tuesday, 1:46 AM. You are laying in bed, typing away at your phone with one hand, precariously close to dropping it on your face. You are currently in the middle of an important information retrieval mission. So far, you haven't had any luck with extracting information from the target. At least not any that you ever wanted to know.

You glance up at the clock on the top left corner of your screen. 1:48 AM. 

He's stonewalling.

CT: D→ You're missing the point 

CT: D→ "Mr. Hands" is an e%emplary e%ample of an internet-cultural phenomenon and the fact that you can't see that is saddening 

AG: Hey, Equius? I think this convers8tion was over, like, a MILLION red flags ago. 

AG: Seriously, dude! I messaged you on STRICTLY 8usiness terms! 

CT: D→ I know 

CT: D→ Business terms are the only terms you ever message me on 

CT: D→ It would be f001ish of me to believe otherwise 

AG: Yeah, duh, cuz that's our thing! 

AG: We're in cahoots with each other! Cahoooooooots. 

AG: We trade inform8tion for our own personal gain. We work out of NECESSITY. 

CT: D→ I know 

CT: D→ I am just trying to be diplomatic 

CT: D→ Not that someone as uncouth as you would understand that 

AG: Hahahaha, what a fucking joke! 

AG: Every time I come to you asking for your help, you stall and stall and stall! 

AG: You're literally doing it right now!!!!!!!! 

CT: D→ I'm just making small talk 

CT: D→ We have been neighbors for the majority of our lives, yet you seem to only reach out to speak to me when I'm of use to you 

AG: Oh my god, so that's what this is a8out? 

AG: Just 8ecause we live a few houses down from each other doesn't mean we've gotta 8e ~*8est 8uds*~, Equius. 

AG: Plus, I talk to you a8out other, 8usiness-unrel8ed shit all the time! 

CT: D→ You sporadically inform me of your chaotic impulses under the guise of it being "funny", when it is truthfully very concerning 

CT: D→ Every time you do this, you are nonconsensually milking me for my emotional labor 

AG: First off, don't say that I am fucking "milking you" in ANY context EVER again, 

AG: Second, I'm just trying to m8ke convers8tion, 

AG: And last, PLEASE just send me the stupid file for your part of the research project!!!!!!!! 

CT: D→ Answer me this 

CT: D→ If I'm so difficult to work with, then why do you always partner up with me for class projects 

AG: 8ecause you're the only person I know with the skillset I need, Eq. 

AG: I need to get a 8- or higher on 8ig projects to m8ke up for me not doing any of the homework, you should know this 8y now! 

CT: D→ I do 

CT: D→ But why me 

CT: D→ You're quite an eccentric character around sch001, surely you have other connections 

CT: D→ Actually, I recall you saying that you "don't make friends with stupid people", so surely you must know someone else capable of helping you 

AG: It's not a matter of intelligence, it's circumstance! 

AG: Kanaya isn't involved in any of this underground shit unless I'm selling her weed in the 8athroom during C Lunch, so she's out. 

AG: Terezi is o8viously a genius. I mean, duh. 

AG: 8uuuuuuuut, she doesn't try for anything a8ove a C+ ever since she stopped 8eing exam dependant. 

AG: And Eridan is gr8 at history projects like this, 8ut he's always like…. 

AG: Weirdly horny a8out it? 

CT: D→ I agree that he is 

CT: D→ Um 

CT: D→ Somewhat 100d with the su8ject of history 

AG: Also, I get my weed from him. It's weird, you know? 

CT: D→ No 

AG: And that explains that! 

You groan and glance at the clock again. 2:15 am.

AG: Jesus, it's 2 am! 

AG: What the fuck are you doing up right now anyway? 

CT: D→ That requires no e%plaination 

AG: Sighhhhhhhhh. 

AG: Equius, please just send your part of the project so I can finish the Powerpoint present8tion? 

AG: Let's just 8e normal people for two seconds and actually get something done for once. 

AG: Is that okay? 

_NEIGH8or_ 🐎😒 _(centaursTesticle) is typing…_

If he doesn't agree, you'll just half-ass the rest of the research. Get a C- overall, probably. Your mom will kill you if you don't meet your graduation requirements, but you know what they say. Some credit is better than no credit.

Why does your social circle always have to be so convoluted? When did everything get so… weird? You struggle to remember a time when things were simple and straightforward. Have you ever truly been able to rely on anyone but yourself?

Before you can think of an answer, your phone pings.

CT: D→ Yes, that's okay 

CT: D→ I'll send you the link 

Thank god, you think to yourself. It took him long enough.

AG: Thank you. 

CT: D→ You're welcome 

CT: D→ Good night, Vriska 

AG: Night, Eq. 

You lock your phone, drop it next to you on the bed, and close your eyes with a sigh. You hear the notification sound ping as Equius shares the link to his Google Doc with you, and you can't help but feel grateful. It's quiet in your room as you look out the window and up at the night sky, waiting to fall asleep.

2:21 AM. Across the street, a few houses down, a light flicks off in the top left window. You feel smug satisfaction seeing that little square go dark.

VRISKA: Goodnight, neigh8or. 


	2. Welcome Back!

Tuesday, 6:45 AM.

Your name is Vriska Serket. You stand in the center of your bedroom, staring at the floor absentmindedly. The room is fairly large, but, like always, you feel crowded.

As you stare down, the void tugs at the edges of your mind, and you mentally feel yourself leave for some other place. You let your eyes unfocus. The floor blurs beneath your feet as you see double. You can't help but feel… oddly safe when you get like this. Everything becomes far, far away. Too far away to matter.

===> Vriska: Snap out of it.

You force your gaze up away from the floor and rub your eyes, frowning. You'll have to leave soon if you want to catch the bus to school. You leave your room and yell bye loud enough for your mom to hear, probably.

Cold air hits you in the face as you open the front door. The wind stings your cheeks. When you step out of your house, you don't look back.

The bus ride is unremarkable as always. Just loud, teenage voices, gossiping and scrambling to ask each other for the answers to last night's homework. It's white noise, static, TV snow. You've learned to block it out.

You always wait until everyone else leaves the bus before you get up from your seat. You say nothing to the bus driver, and they say nothing to you. They have their next job to go to. You have to exist in a social setting for the next 7 hours. It isn't meaningful, it's just routine.

You ram your body into the front door and walk into Alternia Public High School, your official home-away-from-home for the past year and a half. Your body feels heavy as you make your way to the cafeteria, and not just because you carry your whole locker in your backpack. 

You dig through your bag for the 5-hour Energy you stole on your way out of the gas station last Saturday when your mom had you pick up cigarettes for her. You uncap the bottle and throw it back like a shot of hard liquor, casually tossing it in a trash can as you pass by.

The clock on the wall above the entrance to the lunch, or in this case, breakfast line, reads 7:00 AM. That means you have 20 minutes to eat and fuck around with your friends before you have to go to class. You feel some idiot behind you repeatedly bumping into your backpack. You shoot a soulless glare back at them, and they seem to get the message.

You have a specific routine when it comes to school breakfasts. You grab two bags of Froot Loops and a carton of milk, punch in your four-digit free lunch code, and take a straw on your way into the cafeteria. You don't even have to look over to grab a plastic spoon as you pass the condiment area.

You make a beeline to the second-furthest table to the back, making eye contact with no one, saying nothing. When you arrive, you put down your breakfast items and drop your bag on the ground beside your seat (people don't look over anymore when they hear all 25 lbs of school supplies in it colliding with the tile floor.) You fall onto the stool and slump down, practically dead on the table. Your messy, black-dyed hair completely obfuscates any view of your face.

KANAYA: Good Morning Vriska

You groan in response and don't move from your position.

KANAYA: I Assume From Your Posture That You Had A Wonderful Sleep Last Night

You pick your head off of the table and brush your hair out of your face.

VRISKA: Yeah, all four 8reatht8king hours of it. Them's the 8r8ks, I guess.

Kanaya Maryam. Her wavy, dark brown hair is cut short and clean, like always. Her makeup is done, like always. Precise winged eyeliner accentuates her dark brown eyes, her signature black and green lipstick is applied neatly (black on top, green on the bottom, like always), and golden highlighter lightly dusts her cheeks. Not that she needs any of it. Even on her worst days, she almost seems to glow.

Kanaya has the highest GPA out of your whole friend group. Less informed people would likely label her as a "good kid" if they weren't intimidated by her. She tends to come off a bit aloof and mysterious at first, but she's actually really great. Sometimes you feel like she tries to be your therapist, always bugging and fussing and meddling. You know it's just because she cares about you, but your emotions are kind of classified material.

She is a notorious morning person, and is almost always the first one to the table. She arrives around 6:45 AM on most days, always sporting an outfit that could put anyone to shame. She'll sit alone and read one of her nerdy gothic novels until the others start to show up ten to fifteen minutes later.

Everyone else usually shows up before you, as well. There's Karkat, Terezi, and Eridan. Usually. Eridan is a bit of a mystery. As much of a mystery as having ambiguous, inconsistent breakfast whereabouts can be.

KARKAT: I DON'T GET IT. WHY DOES SOLLUX ALWAYS SIT WITH THOSE GUYS?

Karkat Vantas. Resident loudmouth emo and official gossip informant. You would hear about all the current drama in the school from him even if you didn't want to. He doesn't mingle with a lot of groups, but he knows the right people to get all the info (all of it.) His best friend, Sollux, sits at your rival table nowadays, but he's remained here.

Karkat always has an immense amount of frustration pent up in his five foot three body. From his tired eyes, dark, messy hair, and the sweaters he always buries himself in, you can tell those emotions are probably well-justified. You don't think you've ever seen him wear anything but sweatpants. His eyebrow, nose, ears, and lip are all pierced. Terezi says he cried a little when he got his snakebites done, and you believe it.

You follow Karkat's gaze over to a few tables away. Three up, two to the left. Your rival table. There's always a tension in the air when a member of one table makes eye contact with the other from across the cafeteria; tension that probably wouldn't be there at all if you weren't a part of your table. The only person who really considers them to be your rivals is you.

KARKAT: I BET IT'S ONLY BECAUSE ARADIA SITS OVER THERE.  


KARKAT: BETTER QUESTION, WHY DOES *SHE* SIT OVER THERE? THIS IS CLEARLY THE TABLE FOR ALL THE GOTHS AND GENERAL ABHORRENT REJECTS WE KNOW.  


KARKAT: SHE'S GOTH AS FUCK, SOLLUX IS CLOSE ENOUGH, AND HE FOLLOWS HER AROUND LIKE A LOST FUCKING PUPPY. WHAT GIVES?  


KANAYA: Maybe That's Just Their Crowd Nowadays  


KARKAT: PFFT, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  


KARKAT: FOR ONE, FUCKING EQUIUS OF ALL PEOPLE SITS OVER THERE. I COULD MAYBE UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS JUST TAVROS AND NEPETA.  


KARKAT: TAVROS IS SHAMEFUL TO BE AROUND BECAUSE OF THE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT HE CONSTANTLY RADIATES, BUT ARADIA HAS BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM FOR A LONG TIME.  


KARKAT: AND NEPETA IS NICE, I GUESS. BUT *EQUIUS*?!  


KARKAT: I KNOW THAT SOLLUX CAN'T STAND HIM, AND THERE'S NO WAY THAT ARADIA CAN'T SENSE HIS CREEPY FUCKING CRUSH ON HER!  


KARKAT: HIS VIBES ARE FUCKING RANCID. DOESN'T SECONDHAND SWEAT CAUSE CANCER?  


KANAYA: Ha

The feeling in the air changes slightly, as if the room knows that a pretentious tool is about to open his mouth.

ERIDAN: have you forgotten our history wwith them kar or are you just bee-essin me

Eridan Ampora. What a piece of work. Never seen without his black eyeliner, black lipstick, meticulously styled black hair with that stupid blonde streak in it, an ungodly amount of rings on his fingers, and an egriegious personality to boot. He always smells like expensive cologne, and he *always* wears clothes that are way too nice to ever be worn in a high school setting. You lose a year off of your life every time he wears his ugly ass Gucci shoes.

He's ~best friends~ with Feferi Peixes, unofficial queen of your school, and he's buddy-buddy with all the other rich assholes. He actually hates all of them, except her. If you can deal with his emotional theatrics and how he's always complaining about *something*, he's alright for the most part, you guess. You've known him since middle school, and you get your weed from him, so you kind of have to be friends with him. Plus, he's your ticket to the all the juicy details of the school's upper-class social circle. Those rich kids are fucking crazy.

ERIDAN: id be surprised that theyd still wwanna sit ovver here after all that shit  


VRISKA: Wow, Eridan, it's not even 7 AM and you've already made me wish you would shut up!  


ERIDAN: wwhat  


ERIDAN: wwhy is all of our groups lore always off limits convversation wwise  


ERIDAN: for someone wwho lovves drama you sure aint stoked about your own  


VRISKA: Oh really? Can you think of any reason WHY it's off limits?  


VRISKA: Hm, may8e I don't want to 8e reminded of certain things? Maaaaaaaay8e, it's too fucking early for this shit, imagine that!  


VRISKA: Plus, you're not one to talk! You won't even let anyone see you unless you're all made up.  


VRISKA: Oh, you know what? How about I pull out those selfies you sent me when you were drunk on homecoming night? You know, since apparently we all have nothing to hide here!  


ERIDAN: vris dont fuckin joke about that  


ERIDAN: i get it okay swweet fuckin jesus calm down  


ERIDAN: it wwas a mistake  


VRISKA: I don't know, getting sad-drunk on homecoming night is usually pretty intentional.  


VRISKA: *Snrk* You could tell that you'd been crying in the last few.  


ERIDAN: god i knoww please dont mention it again okay its so fuckin embarrassing  


VRISKA: No promises.

What Eridan doesn't know is that you took tons of screenshots when he video called you crying that night. Just another one of your fun little secrets!

You open one of your little bags of cereal, then your carton of milk. You pour half of the milk directly into the bag and start eating. Eridan screws up his face at the whole display.

You glance to the empty seat to your left. It feels like a huge, yawning void is present there.

VRISKA: So where's Terezi at?  


KARKAT: SHE'S SICK.  


VRISKA: Aw man, for real? That sucks!  


KANAYA: Who Ever Will You Get Up To Your Antics With Now  


VRISKA: Why didn't she tell me? She always tells me stuff like that.  


KARKAT: HOW WOULD I KNOW? SHE ONLY TOLD ME BECAUSE SHE WON'T BE HERE TO PRESENT WITH ME IN HISTORY TODAY.

You groan loudly.

VRISKA: Still!!!!!!!!  


VRISKA: This is 8ullshit.

Terezi is the only person that makes going to school worth it for you. She's your best friend and you really love her a lot. It kind of hurts you to know that she didn't bother to tell you that she was sick, but you won't ever admit that.

Either way, today is going to suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i write really fucking slow so good luck readers


	3. Makin' Deals

VRISKA: ...aaaaaaaand that's my present8tion on the infamous Waterg8 Scandal. 

The class applauds out of social obligation. You take your seat, feeling only somewhat mortified. The teacher gets ready for some other chump to go up there and embarrass themself.

EQUIUS: D→ That went well 

VRISKA: Yeah, right. It wasn't gr8. 

VRISKA: I h8 present8tions. 

The next student goes up to the front, and you stealthily take out your phone. You text Kanaya saying that you'll meet her in the A hall bathroom once lunch starts.

What is it about school that sucks so much? Is it the obligation? The workload? All the shit you have to lug around with you? The people definitely don't help. None of them remarkable, most all absolute zeros. It's tiring, emotionally draining. If you weren't already depressed, you certainly would be now.

How does everyone else do this and make it look so casual? Like it's just something they get up and do, maybe just a minor inconvenience. Or, how well are they able to hide it? You certainly can't. The dark circles under your eyes betray your cover.

You prefer it over home, though. No questions asked there. You'd wonder what that says about your life, but there's no need to.

Several mediocre presentations later, the relieving sound of the bell rings, signaling the start of your lunch period. You swear the sound of that bell is more cathartic than any therapy session you could ever have. Not that you would know.

Your things are already packed up, insuring that you're one of the first to leave the classroom, and more importantly, to enter the hallway. If you're quick, you can get to the A hall bathroom before the hallways become too congested.

====> Proceed to bathroom.

You arrive, rebirthed out of the ocean of nobodies you had to swim through to get here. Kanaya stands in the entrance, expecting you. You don't exchange words, just make your way to a stall together. Some girls standing together at the sinks judgingly glance over at the two of you, then pretend they didn't see you.

Kanaya sits down on the edge of the toilet seat and crosses her legs. Back to the door, you reach into the hidden pocket you stitched into the inside of your jacket. You take out the weed, wrapped in 8 plastic snack bags, and hand it over to Kanaya. She easily reaches down into her shirt and hands you a $20. No words exchanged.

You pocket the cash, and hear a click as Kanaya opens her red compact mirror.

KANAYA: Can We Talk For A Moment 

She starts to touch up her lipstick. You don't break eye contact with the floor.

VRISKA: A8out what? 

KANAYA: This 

KANAYA: This Thing That's Been Going On Lately With Everyone 

KANAYA: You Know 

KANAYA: Since The Incident 

A little jolt of electricity surges up your spine.

VRISKA: What? 

VRISKA: What are you talking a8out? 

KANAYA: You Know What I'm Talking About Vriska 

KANAYA: There's Been A Tension In The Air Ever Since That Thing With Aradia And Tavros 

KANAYA: The Whole Breakfast Table Situation 

VRISKA: And? Is that it? 

VRISKA: O8viously it's going to 8e awkward for everyone after what happened, Kanaya. 

VRISKA: I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear! 8ut if they can't see that, they can t8ke sides, I don't care. 

KANAYA: It's Our Side Too 

KANAYA: What Happened Between Us Vriska 

Your heart sinks into your stomach.

KANAYA: Everything Seemed 

KANAYA: I Don't Know 

KANAYA: Special Between Us For A While 

VRISKA: … 

KANAYA: Please Tell Me I'm Not Making A Fool Of Myself Here 

You meet her gaze, but quickly avert your eyes.

VRISKA: No. You're not. 

VRISKA: I'm… 

VRISKA: I'm sorry, okay? 

VRISKA: I just can't do it. I like us 8eing friends, 8ut that's it. 

VRISKA: It's not that you're not good enough, I- 

KANAYA: I Get It 

She closes the compact mirror and stands up, several inches taller than you.

KANAYA: I Was Always Kidding Myself 

KANAYA: Especially With Trying To Help You 

KANAYA: I Know You Never Wanted It 

VRISKA: I'm sorry. 

KANAYA: I Know 

She walks past you and out the stall door, then out of the bathroom. You watch her go. You're all alone now.

VRISKA: God DAMN it! 

You slam your fist against the stall, rattling the whole frame. It hurts your hand more now, you're not as strong as you used to be. You feel small. Too big, but so small.

You fucked up again.

11:47 PM. You're laying in bed with your head under the covers, and your mom is asleep, thank god.

You stare blankly at your phone. Every once and awhile, your mind replays the cringe events from your fail day. How many real friends are you going to have to lose before you learn how to act like a normal person?

You just want to do what's right. You want to make up for all of your mistakes, you want to fix every wrong with one big Right, but you don't know how. It seems the more you try to do good things, the more you fuck everything up.

You open your messaging app.

AG: Hey Terezi. 

AG: I heard you're sick. That suuuuuuuucks! 

AG: Why didn't you tell me???????? 

GC: H3Y B1TCH 

GC: UGH, SORRY 

GC: 1 F3LT LIKE 4 BIG SMELLY TURD 4LL L4ST N1GHT 4ND TOD4Y SO 1 COULDN'T TELL YOU 

GC: 1 ONLY TOLD K4RK4T B3C4US3 OF OUR H1STORY PROJ3CT 

AG: Awwww, I'm sorry ::::( 

AG: Are you feeling a little 8etter now? 

GC: 3HH 

GC: 1 COULD B3 WORS3 >:] 

GC: WH4T'S UP W1TH YOU? 

AG: Aw man, I really fucked things up with Kanaya today. 

AG: I'm not gonna get into it, 8ut I don't know if we're friends anymore? 

GC: 4WW SH1T 

GC: 1S SH3 NOT GONN4 S1T 4T OUR T4BL3 4NYMOR3? 

AG: I don't know. She didn't even say we're not friends anymore. 

AG: Sighhhhhhhh. 

You talk with Terezi for a while. You're glad she didn't forget to text you on purpose. For a second you thought you might lose her, and strangely, that's something you don't ever want to happen. She's all you have left.

But maybe, if it's her, that might be okay.


	4. Homecoming, Part 1

SEVERAL MONTHS EARLIER… 

Friday, 4:45. A cool autumn breeze blows in through the window. The shutter blinds, haphazardly drawn up on one side, rattle in place. A young woman stands in her bedroom. This young woman is you, Vriska. Today is the day before homecoming night, and you got a d8! You mean date. 

He's part of your D&D LARPing group, and has been for a few years. Sure, he's always been a huge, lame weenie, but you think that, if you can toughen him up, you could settle for him. His name is Tavros. 

Tavros Nitram. Dark hair cut in a fohawk, freckles, and a septum piercing. He's slight, an inch shorter than you, and (while you're no expert on this) doesn't know how to dress. A button up over a t-shirt of the same color? With socks and sandals? Brave move. 

He's like a real life softboy, but he also kind of sucks. He lets everyone step all over him all the time, and it's frustrating to watch. He's weak, and you hate seeing weakness in others. It's too familiar to you. 

Anyway, you guess he's kind of cute, and he was the only one of your friends you could go with. Karkat and Eridan are off limits. Not that you'd ever want to go with either of them. You kind of hate these school events, to be honest. You don't get what the big deal is. You go to the dance with some dumb boy you don't even like, it's all kind of lame, and you don't really have fun. It feels forced. 

But you decided that this year you're going to try to make it better. Kanaya offered to make you a dress for homecoming if you would hang out with her there. You weren't sure at first, about the whole dress thing. Everyone at school would be there, and you would be there. All eyes on you. Vulnerable. 

But you also felt hopeful, maybe even a little excited! The sketches Kanaya sent looked so pretty, and maybe... you could also. 

So you agreed, and she followed through. It's a white, knee length dress. The ends are stylishly tattered. You stole some tall, black socks from the mall to go with it, and, of course, you're gonna wear your beat up, red converse. Duh. 

You take out your phone and bring up your messaging app. 

AG: Heyyyyyyyy Terezi! 

AG: What the fuck is up!!!!!!!! 

GC: OH SH1T GU3SS WH3R3 1 4M! 

AG: Where! 

GC: DON'T PULL TH4T SH1T, 1 TOLD YOU TO GU3SS! 

AG: Ugh, fiiiiiiiine. 

AG: You're not at home! 

GC: UGH, SO NONSP3C1F1C 

GC: BUT YOU'R3 R1GHT, 1'M NOT 4T HOME 

GC: K4RK4T 1S G3TT1NG H1S SN4K3B1T3S DON3 RN 4ND I'M H3R3 W1TH H1M 

AG: Holy shit. For real? 

GC: Y34H! H3 TOOK M3 W1TH H1M TH1S T1M3 >:P 

AG: That's so cool! 

GC: LM4O 

GC: H3'S W41T1NG FOR TH3M TO PR3P 1T 4ND H3'S SO N3RVOUS H3 LOOKS L1K3 H3'S GONN4 POOP H1MS3LF 

AG: LOL. 

GC: >:D 

AG: ::::D !!!!!!!! 

GC: OH THEY'R3 DO1NG TH3 F1RST ON3 

GC: 1'LL T3XT YOU WH3N TH3Y'R3 DON3

\--- 

GC: OK4Y TH3Y'R3 DON3 

GC: K4RK4T CR13D A L1TTL3 B1T LOL 

AG: Hahahaha! What a dwee8. 

AG: Hey, who are you going to homecoming with? 

AG: I got Tavros to go with me. 

GC: OH 

GC: 1 W4S JUST GO1NG 4LON3 

GC: JUST TO H4NG OUT YOU KNOW? 

AG: Oh. 

AG: Okay, I can hang out with you there! 

AG: I promised Kanaya I'd hang with her too, so we can all talk together. 

GC: WH4T 4BOUT T4VROS >:? 

AG: Ugh, right. 

AG: He can tag along, I guess.

Terezi eventually tells you that she has to go, and you put down your phone. Briefly, you think that you'd rather go to homecoming with her than anyone else, but you push it down. When you go to sleep that night, you push it down again. 

5:12 PM, the next day. Homecoming starts at 6:30. It's time to put on that dress. 

You pick it up off the bed and tentatively slip it on. The socks too. The only thing you put on confidently are your old sneakers. You stand up, 5'9, and look in the mirror. 

You feel… pretty, almost. The way it frames your figure, or lack thereof, Kanaya made it almost look elegant. You like how the socks almost cover your knees. 

You feel apprehensive. You should be happier with this moment, but you feel like you're faking something you were never meant to have. You feel like you almost have what you desperately want. But almost isn't enough. 

The way it hangs over where you wish you had hips, your skinny legs, your shoulders… 

It looked cuter on the mannequin. 

But maybe Tavros will think otherwise. Maybe everyone will! You hope it's just you who isn't buying it. 

*Thump.* 

Your heart nearly stops. Visions of your mom coming into your room and seeing you in a dress flood your mind. You stop breathing on instinct. 

VRISKA: (Please don't come in, oh god, please don't come in…)

… 

It seems it was just the house.   
You're safe, for now. 

You quickly take out the makeup you stole from the mall, which you made sure to hide. You'd like to get out of here as soon as possible. 

After you carefully, shakily apply some black eyeliner and cobalt blue lipstick, you go to grab your things so you can leave. You then realize that dresses don't have pockets and you have nowhere to put your things. It's not like you have a purse or anything… 

You just grab your backpack and stow your phone and your ticket in there. 

You throw on a dark grey jacket and leave. In order to minimize the risk of your mom seeing you like this, you sneak out of your bedroom window. She doesn't care about you once you're somewhere else, knowing you'll have to come back eventually. 

Fortunately, your school is in walking distance. It's slower than taking the bus, but it's possible. Here goes nothing.


End file.
